Special Time
Try this quick parent-child activity each week to build a better relationship with your child, best for ages 2-7 years old.
What is Special Time?
A period of time (5-10 minutes) each week when a child spends one-on-one time with each parent or guardian engaged in play that is led by the child.
It is recommended that children ages 2-7 have Special Time 4x per week. It is a part of a larger evidence-based treatment program called Parent Child Interaction Therapy (or PCIT) and Filial Therapy.
Why do Special Time?
It is a free, evidenced-based and effective way for parents to improve their relationships with their child and make it more likely that children will listen to you. What’s not to love about that?!
How do I do Special Time with my child?
- Tell your child when Special Time starts and ends
- Give your child your direct, full attention during the 5-10 minutes that you are engaged in Special Time with your child
- Ignore any behaviors you do not like unless they are legitimately dangerous
What should I do as a parent or guardian in Special Time?
Practice these specific PRIDE skills while your child leads you in play:
- Praise– give specific words of admiration “I love how you stack those blocks so high.” Focus on behaviors you would like to see more of and provide positive affirmation (e.g., “Thank you for letting me take a turn.”)
- Reflect– verbally repeat some of what the child says back to the child and how you perceive the child feels (it is okay if the child corrects you because the interactions are led by the child. Again, you should focus on repeating talk that you would like to hear more of from the child.
- Imitate– join the child in parallel play by mirroring what the child is doing (e.g., stack blocks as the child stacks blocks). If they ask you not to imitate them, then follow their instruction and do something different that still engages you in the activity but in a different way.
- Describe– narrate what the child is doing in order to demonstrate interest in what they are doing (e.g., like a sports broadcaster announcing or describing a game).
- Enthusiasm– communicate verbally and nonverbally (smiling, clapping) in an authentic way that you are interested in your child, having a good time, and excited to be with them.
What should I not do as a parent or guardian in Special Time?
- Do not give your child any direction, do not ask questions or give them commands
- Do not allow yourself to get distracted by phone, TV, or paying attention to other people during Special Time
- Do not engage in Special Time with more than one child at a time
How can I learn more?
-
Listen to NPR’s Life Kit review of Special Time for a quick refresher (~ 14 minutes)
- Learn the skills from a therapist who is trained and experienced with PCIT or Filial Therapy
Unsure of whether you’re ready to do therapy? Check out this article to explore when you should go to therapy.